I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
