Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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