**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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