Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
