Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I need to align my fucking chakras
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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