Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish you could order shots online.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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