i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
