he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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