honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
