O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
