I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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