The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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