She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
