I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
