"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
