If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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