So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
