O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
