Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
