..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
