p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
