Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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