i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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