I love black thongs
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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