he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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