i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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