your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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