Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Damn victory sex feels great
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
