New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
