WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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