we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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