No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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