Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
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I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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