Michael Bay diarrhea
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
