I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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