Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
