Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
