this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You took a bar mat shot.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
