Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
