So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
