You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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