About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
