I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
