Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
