I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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