i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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