youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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