If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
birth control should be required to get into college
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
