i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
