New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
