You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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