we have pet lesbian snakes
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
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No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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