i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
