You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
