I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I could fuck to npr.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
