"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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