is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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