apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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