We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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