My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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