I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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