remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
