He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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