ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
