I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We are two peas in an std pod
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
