Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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