I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
