She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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