just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
