I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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