morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
