If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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